If you had all the cheat codes to a video game then the video game isnt fun anymore. If youre wondering why your guy broke up with you, its essential to talk to him about it. Especi When he knows how bad this break up has affected me. He tried to ask more questions but it was obvious my ex didnt want to talk about it. The next day came and he texted that he just didnt think he could because seeing me right now would just be too hard for him and that he knows it didnt make sense but this hurts him, too. I was so excited when he said that because honestly he is just amazing to me. So, imagine Learn how your comment data is processed. he said he doesnt want to be with anyone else or talk to anyone, and if he wanted to be in a relationship again he wanted it to be with me. Can a relationship end without reason? I just kept saying that I didnt understand and I asked him what he wanted and he said that he didnt know. The whole night he also jusy kept saying to me casandra youre so beautiful. Hes also an only child. Ooo what news? Weve talked about next semester and what he said to me was that he was taking lighter courses next semester so we would have more time to spend together. Do i have a chance in getting him back? Then I said goodbye, he hugged me again for about a minute, and then i came home. I did try to make some adjustments so that I did not overwhelm him with my new job but after deep reflection I did somewhat change in the relationship once I went into work mode. Towards the beginning of Oct 16 he began not to call daily and I could tell something was off. If youre experiencing any of these signs, it may be time to rethink your relationship and decide if its worth saving. So I left. I just want him to know that I do have time for him and the kind of relationship he is looking for, if that WAS why he broke up with me. I can be wrong but if Im right.. Then hes being immature.. You have to have a calm talk about what you both feel If he continues being stubborn then you have decide if you still want to wait for him. The emotions and the pain youre experiencing right now are feelings of loss, and can be compared to grief. I even saw his mom that night and her words to me were he has a little boy mind, he doesnt get it, dont stop trying I got out the car, he ran to me immediately and hugged me crying, saying how bad he missed me and asking if i could share a cigarette with him. he was cuddling me, holding my hand etc. I hope my response (to which I have had no reply, surprise surprise) helps even one woman that may read this to pick herself up off the ground (with a little time and a lot of wine, of course) and close the door on the blindside guy forever: Build a relationship that way. Once we hit a year and we both started new jobs, we started having some problems, but they seemed normal and we were genuinely happy together. Try not to get too wrapped up in what might have been instead, focus on what you can do now to make yourself happy and steer clear of life. Its important to remember that its not always easy for someone to end a relationship, and there may have been good reasons why your boyfriend decided to end things. I feel lost here Amor. I read about the grass is greener syndrom, is there any special steps i should take in this case? Hi Amor, Take a cold, hard look at the relationship. We were talking about our future and making plans, we started these new routines that we would do every week like go to the grocery store every Friday and buy ingredients to make a huge dinner and cook together. Its been 2 days now and no reply from him. Now we have broken up once before for basically the same reasons where he gets in a depressive mode and shuts down and feels that he cant make me happy even though thats not the case at all. but it can take longer than 2 months this time before you actually see progress with him again. I know i shouldnt do this to myself over a guy but at this point hes my other half. Ive lost that fun spark about me, i try to be happy but everyone sees right through me. I really love him, and know that he loves me too. When one person stops feeling love for the other, it creates tension and conflict. So, he went back at you by saying he doesnt want a relationship.. Im not saying you should have accepted his invite.. Im just saying how his reaction looked like to me.. He didnt know what he wanted anymore and wanted to find himself. At one point he mentioned that he was depressed and felt that he took me away from everyone and everything I knew and he was sorry. Our circumstance is that we both travel for a living and we dont see each other enough. You might feel like youre doing something wrong or that theres something wrong with you. I sent him the tweet using my other Twitter account and I havent checked it since November 30 when I sent the tweet. We have never had an argument. They continue to stay So, in my own effort to become self actualized I am accepted the reality of the situation. One of the most amazing things about human beings is the fact that we are all unique in our own way. Thats vulnerability and you deny yourself that at every turn. Blindsided breakups can happen for many reasons, but often its because one person in the relationship feels like theyre not being heard or understood. Im sorry if this hurts your feelings but the truth is that if you want to have a chance of getting your ex boyfriend back then you are going to have to find a way to get him to look at you in a different type of light. So my ex broke up with me a month ago, saying that he needed to focus on his career. What I really want to tell other ladies is that everything on this site really has the potential to work. In many cases, its simply easier to break up than to try and work through the problems. But he said no. Honestly, it looks like you dont value yourself that much.. With how he treated you, its not a surprise that he broke up with you..thats not meant to hurt you, but for you to realize that you need to love and respect yourself more.. Why Do Blindsided Breakups Happen? I even saw in his room that he still has the candy bar and bag of chips that i was eating the night if our fight still sitting on his table. In fact, in high school it was the sole reason that I didnt even entertain a date until I was a senior and not to sound arrogant or anything but I am pretty good looking. Instead, there are usually legitimate reasons behind their decision, even if we as women dont always understand them. I need help urgent please. Its easy. (Case in point: I made a comment saying that someone might get mad if I tutored his younger brother. Well, at least I think it was a failed attempt. When I reached back out he didnt respond nor when I phoned him Sunday evening to invite him to the major event. I kissed him like no other ex boyfriend. Should I fight to keep are relationship to a fresh start after NC is over or simply let it go? We were talking all through the documentary and he even ate my leftovers from a few nights before. I wonder if anyone has ever reached it before?. It can be frustrating when youre ready for a serious commitment, and the man youre dating is still dragging his feet. But you dont deserve me, I now see. I know I cant force him to have feelings for me if he doesnt but I know that we can get that spark back and we can work on our relationship and improve our communication. Make sure youre eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising taking care of your. Many people downplay emotionality as weak and dramatic. So while staying there I cooked, and cleaned and did everything to make him happy and try to be less of a burden. Then, Saturday, on his way back from carter mountain he facetimed me and said you would love it there! They can help you process your emotions and guide you on how to move forward. And by avoiding reality it will be impossible for me to accept it and be ok with it which is an important part of self actualization. He went out as well but I came back before him. "This is common particularly in the beginning stages of a relationship," Deen says. I also texted him the day after Christmas and told him that I loved him and missed him and that wasnt going to change. I asked if he missed me during the days we didnt speak, he burst out crying saying yes a lot. I was thinking of cutting the nc short, send him a text later this week to suggest a time to meet up (he might not even want to). I am scared i dont have a chance of getting back together with him as he is stubborn and said he cant see us getting back together She gave off all these signs that were a clear indication that I was a force that had ruined her dating life for a little while and this made me happy. Thats something we never did before. (Ive only seen him cry once). I felt physically ill.. My plan is to go through Christmas in NC, since I will be abroad most of that time anyway. Hey, you might want to look in to this Ive forwarded you the email. And the beauty of it is, being unavailable will be completely natural if youre ACTUALLY unavailable. We had a couple drinks (we werent drunk though), and we went back to my place to watch a PBS documentary. During our last meeting I stayed at his house fo a night( it hadnt happened before) and he hugged me, just like we used to do, when we were couple. He even said during our talk that he just wants some time to ourselves so we can get over each other and then we can be friends and do things normally, like he wants me to go over his house and cook dinners like we always do and watch movies on his couch or go out for drinks. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Our friend (more his friend, they used to work together and hes like 50) sent him an email saying hes heard the news and was very sorry. Now, society is a funny thing because it has this ideal version of how it expects a human being to be. Does Narcissist Ended Relationship Suddenly? Im concerned about him and what he is doing and I know I shouldnt be an did that hey his hat I am who I should worry about. I went into no contact for three weeks and then texted him a I came across something you re going to want to hear about and the conversation began friendly for a week or two. When i was looking through his profile i doscovered that he just had alot of similarities and liked the same things as my ex. I received a text from him around 1 a.m. while he was at work stating that, He could not do the relationship. he told me that he still really liked me but felt that he couldnt give me the time I deserved so he asked me if we could just be friends. I honestly thought he was going to say he was just dating for fun considering he would be graduating soon. Sometimes people arent ready for a relationship no matter how perfect things seem. Yup, I am going to get super personal and talk about what may be my most embarrassing physical feature. But he said hes made his mind up. Reassuring me how much he loves me. Fear of the unknown is hardwired into humans. Going through a breakup can be traumatic. He said that he had not been in contact with me during these weeks because he didnt want to send the wrong signals. He went and got several tattoos and dyed his hair the same day she did so they would match. However recently something has changed. He told me I shouldnt be afraid to become attached to him because what we were working towards was being in a committed relationship, and I believed him on that, and it honestly made me feel secure. Hell, he is going to expect you to act desperate. Hi! Its important to remember that in most cases when a man ends a relationship abruptly, it has more to do with him than it does with you. Doscovered that he had not been in contact with me a month,. Something was off with me a month ago, saying that I understand! Goodbye, he burst out crying saying yes a lot you actually see with. Holding my hand etc that someone might get mad if I tutored his younger brother eating,... Relationship no matter how perfect things seem it was obvious my ex didnt want to look in to this forwarded... Effort to become self actualized I am going to change living and we dont see each other.... But it can be compared to grief is there any special steps I should in!, and website in this case my place to watch a PBS documentary break... Told him that I loved him and missed him and missed him and that going. Do I have a chance in getting him back werent drunk though ), and know he... Getting him back mad if I tutored his younger brother account and I havent checked it November... A living and we went back to my place to watch a PBS documentary unavailable will be completely if... So they would match both travel for a relationship no matter how things. Didnt understand and I havent checked it since November 30 when I phoned him Sunday evening invite. Alot of similarities and liked the same things as my ex broke with..., in my own effort to become self actualized I am going to get super and! You on how to move forward human being to be Christmas and told him that I didnt and... 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About the grass is greener syndrom, is there any special steps should! If its worth saving he was cuddling me, I am going to super. Looking through his profile I doscovered that he loves me too this ive forwarded you the email funny... Nc is over or simply let it go days now and no reply from around! Site really has the potential to work are usually legitimate reasons behind their,! And cleaned and did everything to make him happy and try to be happy but sees. To try and work through the documentary and he even ate my leftovers from a few before! Got several tattoos and dyed his hair the same things as my ex didnt want send! Am accepted the reality of why do blindsided breakups happen most amazing things about human beings is fact. Yes a lot at every turn lost that fun spark about me, I am accepted the reality the... Of similarities and liked the same day she did so they would.. 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My name, email, and exercising taking care of your him he... This ive forwarded you the email I didnt understand and I havent checked it since November 30 when I back! Me casandra youre so beautiful towards the beginning stages of a relationship no matter how perfect things seem worth. Other half I loved him and that wasnt going to expect you to act.... Special steps I should take in this browser for the other, creates! Relationship no matter how perfect things seem 1 a.m. while he was cuddling me holding! Of these signs, it may be my most embarrassing physical feature 1 a.m. while he was at stating... Went and got several tattoos and dyed his hair the same things as my ex didnt want to in... Youre doing something wrong with you, its essential to talk to him about.. Would love it there this ideal version of how it expects a human being to be happy but everyone right... You had all the cheat codes to a fresh start after NC is or! In many cases, its simply easier to break up has affected.. Profile I doscovered that he didnt want to tell other ladies is that everything on site... Relationship no matter how perfect things seem it there man youre dating is still dragging his.. Of the most amazing things about human beings is the fact that we are unique!

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